how anxious attachment can make you feel jealous, needy, and worried and what you can do about it Becker-Phelps, Leslie creator author. text bibliography cau New York London, UK Norton c2010 2014 monographic eng

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v, 183 pages : illustrations, charts ; paperback ; 23 cm. Almost everyone has felt jealous or insecure in a romantic relationship at some point in their lives. But people who constantly feel these emotions may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, readers will learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help them recognize negative thoughts and get to the root of their insecurities so that they can cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime. Machine generated contents note: pt. ONE The Bedrock of All Relationships -- 1.Early Connections: A Foundation for Love -- The Basics of How You Connect -- Four Styles of Attachment -- Discovering Your Attachment Style -- 2.Understanding Why You Relate the Way You Do -- Proximity: Protection from Danger -- Safe Haven: The Need for Comfort -- Secure Base: Support for Exploring the World -- Balancing Autonomy and Closeness -- Managing Your Emotions -- Two Ways to Earn Security and Happy Relationships -- pt. TWO Discover Your Potential: Being Worthy of Love -- 3.Opening the Door to Change -- Learning to See Yourself in a Positive Light -- Confirming the “r;You”r; You Know -- Confirming How You See Others -- Closed-Loop Relationships -- Pursuit-Withdrawal: A Common Relationship Problem -- Summary: Gaining Perspective -- 4.Overcoming Obstacles -- Self-Deception -- The Logic Stops Here -- How Pain Motivates Change -- The Need for New Experiences -- Contents note continued: pt. THREE Compassionate Self-Awareness: The Antidote to Relationship Anxiety -- 5.A Path to Deep, Lasting Security -- Self-Awareness -- Self-Compassion -- The Healing Power of Compassionate Self-Awareness -- 6.Developing Self-Awareness -- Facing Your Ambivalence -- Nurturing Awareness of Emotions -- Transforming Your Thoughts with Greater Awareness -- Mentalizing -- Final Thoughts on Self-Awareness -- 7.Creating Self-Compassion -- Common Humanity -- Mindfulness -- Self-Kindness -- Compassionate Self-Awareness in a Nutshell -- pt. FOUR Lighting Up Your Love Life -- 8.Finding Someone Who Will Accept You and Warm Your Heart -- Set a Goal for a Healthy Relationship -- What to Look for in a Partner -- Panning for Gold -- Spin a Supportive Web -- 9.Nurturing a Relationship You Feel Secure In -- Self-Disclosure -- Interdependence: Being One “r;Whole Half”r; -- Keeping Your Connection Going -- Accentuate the Positive -- On Being Grateful -- Contents note continued: It Takes Work to Tango -- 10.Working It Out -- Asking for Support -- Talking Through Conflicts -- The Gift of Forgiveness -- Moving On -- Closing Thoughts. Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD. Includes bibliographical references. Love Man-woman relationships Self-consciousness (Awareness) Anxiety BF575.L8 .B33 2014 152.4/1 FAM029000 SEL036000 9781608828159 1608828158 2014011349 WWBK 140807 20150522165531.0 000052793377 eng