rebuild your relationship by rediscovering the partner you love--without losing yourself Christensen, Andrew. creator Doss, Brian David 1975- Joint author. Jacobson, Neil S. 1949- Joint author. text bibliography nyu New York London, UK The Guilford Press c2014 2014 Second edition monographic eng

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xviii, 348 pages : illustrations ; paperback ; 24 cm. ""If only he could see things from my point of view." "Why does she have to act that way?" No matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. This popular, science-based guide offers powerful solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. True acceptance of one another may seem difficult to accomplish, but the clear-cut steps in this book can make it a reality. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and vivid stories, readers learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; what communication strategies really work to resolve conflicts; and how to problem-solve and make positive changes--together. Updated throughout with new research, practical tools, and examples, the second edition features a new chapter on mindfulness"-- Machine generated contents note: I. The Conflicting Sides of Conflict -- 1. Three Sides to Every Story -- 2. "You're Wrong!": Relationship Problems as Faults -- II. A DEEP Understanding of Conflict: The Third Side of the Story -- 3. "How Can You Be That Way?": Relationship Problems as Differences -- 4. "You Know How to Hurt Me": Relationship Problems as Emotional Sensitivities -- 5. "Can't You See I'm Stressed Out?": Relationship Problems as External Circumstances -- 6. A Cure Worse Than the Disease: Relationship Problems as Patterns of Communication -- III. From Argument to Acceptance -- 7. The Delicate Balance: Acceptance and Change -- 8. A Story of Our Own: Acceptance through Understanding -- 9. Walking in Your Partner's Shoes: Acceptance through Compassion -- 10. Getting Some Perspective on the Conflict: Acceptance through Tolerant Distance -- IV. Deliberate Change through Acceptance -- 11. The Dilemmas of Deliberate Change -- 12. Deliberate Change through Mindfulness: Custom-Fitting Change to Suit Your Relationship -- 13. Deliberate Change through Communication: Taking Good Advice about Talking and Listening with a Mindful Grain of Salt -- 14. The Silver Bullet of Deliberate Change: Taking Charge of Change Even When Things Go Bad -- V. When Acceptance Is Not Enough -- 15. "Don't Do That to Me!": Violence, Verbal Abuse, and Infidelity -- 16. Calling In the Professionals: Couple and Individual Therapy -- Resources -- Bibliography. Andrew Christensen, Brian D. Doss, and Neil S. Jacobson. Includes bibliographical references (p. 333-336) and index. Couples Man-woman relationships Interpersonal communication Interpersonal relations Conflict management HQ801 .C4867 2014 306.7 PSY041000 MED102000 FAM030000 PSY036000 9781462502431 (pbk.) 2013037587 DLC 130920 20140620121643.0 17892827 eng